A conversation with Kenny Wallace is a lot like riding a roller coaster for the first time -- lots of twists and turns and momentum and sometimes you're upside down and you don't know how you got there.
Wallace is a mile a minute and if you're not paying attention, you might not even hear him take a breath. Heck, he might not even take one, even after changing topics three times in one sentence. Even roller coasters get off track once in a while.
Yet, one of NASCAR's ambassadors and one of the most gregarious guys in the garage is relegated to the middle of the pack because the money isn't flowing nearly as quickly as his words are.
So he returns home, back to the greater St. Louis area that has spawned the entirety of the Wallace racing family, ready to race at Gateway International Raceway in the midst of what he calls "Speedweeks in the Midwest."
But he just wishes he could put on more of a show.
"I'm hanging in there until we can find some big money and get some more speed in our cars," Wallace said. "I'll still be in the same mode at Gateway; just because it's Gateway doesn't mean we have any more money. My family and my fans know what's going on, knowing I'm embarrassed and doing the best I can do with what I've got."
Now, don't get Wallace wrong. He's not embarrassed by his team, or his effort, or the sport. He loves NASCAR, a lot. He'll tell you.
A lot.
But he's also not going to insult himself, or the sport, by merely going out and turning a few laps for a paycheck. He said four years ago in a chat with his nephew, Steve, that by the age of 47, his career would be winding down.
He turns 47 in August.
"If I'm running this way next year, it will probably be my last year," Wallace said. "I will say that it's very important for me to be satisfied. I'm in a situation where I don't need to be racing just to make money. I love my life, I've been fortunate, and so I would say that I agree with that statement. I'm still on the course with that.
"I do not want to quit. I feel I'm a really good race car driver. I'm winning a lot of dirt car races. Financially, I see right now everybody is suffering. For me to just go out and make circles, out of respect for my family, it doesn't make much sense. The direct quote is this: If I am competing at this same level at this time next year, and I still have not been able to find money and a great sponsor, I would say I will look at ... not retirement. But I will not race full time any more, knowing I don't have a chance to really compete."
His only finish inside the top 15 was at Talladega. He's out there, using his people skills to hustle up sponsorship for the first time in his career. He's had 14 different primary sponsors in 18 races.
Last year, he had one. Well, that and the one-off race he ran at Montreal after fans raised $100,000 to sponsor him. Fans started the cause after Wallace mentioned on his Facebook page he didn't have a sponsor for the race.
Wallace is as dedicated to social networking as anyone in the NASCAR garage. Tuesday, he invited 40 fans to his dirt car shop in the St. Louis area to come pick up tickets for this week's race after announcing the giveaway on Twitter.
Wallace is giving away more than that. Saying he's spent "an enormous amount of money" in trying to round up sponsorship, he cites the changing business model in the sport.
"We used to make fun of sporty car racers forever, the Grand Ams and IRL, because it was always up to the driver to bring money to the teams," Wallace said. "I spent $35,000 out of my own pocket to create new DVDs and introductory videos. You don't just show up in front of big companies with some paper. Sometimes I meet with companies that don't know much about the sport. So I get these DVDs, get them voiced over, get the videos, and you have to pay for that, and then there's also another introductory DVD about the sport of NASCAR which John Roberts voices over. It shows footage.
"Roger Penske told Rusty [Wallace, his brother]: 'You're either in or you're out.' Are you in or are you out? Do you have one leg in or one leg out? Me? I'm both feet in. I absolutely love it. I'm not going to be negative, I'm going to go out there and find money."
And if he doesn't?
Kenny Wallace will spend more time on TV, where "The Hermanator" overpowers every set with his plus-size persona. Plus, it will allow him to race, hopefully full time he said, in the dirt cars he loves so much. He bought 12 acres near St. Louis and plans to move there when he's done with his full time NASCAR career. He's built his dirt car shop there, and said that's the next step in his life.
"I see some really good dirt racers, like Billy Moyer and Scott Bloomquist, flat-ass winning at 51, 52 years old," Wallace said. "Dirt racing is more for the older man because these races, a long race would be 100 laps. It favors the older guy. You're not being hounded by sponsors to look good."
One hundred laps sounds good to Wallace, who said he thinks the Nationwide races are the perfect length. Cup, however? He considers NASCAR CEO and Chairman Brian France, International Speedway Corp. CEO Lesa France Kennedy and NASCAR President Mike Helton friends.
He doesn't envy them.
"When you shorten the race, everyone thinks everything should be cheaper. I understand the pickle they're in," Wallace said. "But times change. What worked 20 years ago doesn't work now. These people are begging, the normal people. Hard-core race fans are the ones still in the stands.
"It's no secret we've lost 18-20 percent of our fans. To get those 18-20 percent back in the grandstands ... those are what we call casual fans. They just can't watch cars go around in circles for 3, 3½ hours any more."
But there's no place Wallace would rather be than beating and banging, sliding and smacktalking on any of the tracks in this country.
One thing right now is keeping Wallace from being the one-man show he knows he can be: money.
"My brother Rusty said to me last year, he said, 'Herm,' and I know this was hard for him to say, because he's got a pretty big ego, 'Herm, I cannot believe as popular as you are you don't have a $6 million sponsor.'" Kenny Wallace said. "I can tell you that that kind of inspired me. I've created a lot on my own, and now I'm going out after sponsors. We'll see how it all turns out."
Strap in, and hold on tight.
